My father in law has dementia. He is one of the most intelligent and curious people I have ever met. Through the years we bonded over books and reading, and clashed over guns. This man loves his family fiercely and he knows exactly what is happening to him.He made the choice to stop driving and get rid of his car.
He grasps for words most days, but still knows the concepts. We had an entertaining conversation about black holes the other day. Between his dementia and my menopause brain we didn't have many concrete words between us, but understood each other perfectly.
His birthday was the other day and he wanted to go to John King Books in Detroit, four stories of used books. My husband and I took him book shopping and then to Polish Village for lunch. He has great difficulty reading, but still loves books. He spoke openly at lunch about how much has changed, and didn't need to say how hard it is to feel himself slipping away.
These types of outings have become a regular thing, mostly with my husband and his dad. I feel lucky when I get to come along, to spend time with him and to have the connection of talking without all of the words.